I often have a night or two of bad sleep when PH is away. Because of my history with PPD (PND), I've found I'm quite sensitive in my awareness of my own anxiety especially when I have any problem sleeping. Because it did become a big problem in the past, I can jump to the conclusion that I'm headed down the same path again. A few nights of bad sleep, thinking about a past episode of anxiety and the muddle-headedness that comes with (even a little bit of) sleep deprivation and I can start telling myself that I'm headed back down that same path of anxiety.
But the thing is, it's always been a pothole, not a cliff . It's a few nights of adjustment to a major change in my life. It's normal to find these things hard. It's normal to take a while to adjusting to having my husband away. To find the evenings quiet and odd. To feel stressed about solo parenting.
Instead, I'm reminded to give myself a break. To not be too quick to assume the worst of my mental health. To remember that I now know what to do if I do need help, but to allow time to adjust and to discover if it really is just a pothole. Just a little bump in the road of life.