Christmas greetings (belatedly)

Merry Christmas everyone - hope you've had a lovely time remembering the birth of Jesus!

We have finally packed, had a lovely time in Nowra with both sets of parents and my siblings. We left Australia yesterday and are now in Hong Kong.

Thanks to those who have been praying for us. So far we are readjusting to PH's return very smoothly. It's been lovely to see how quickly P has become close to him - as if he was never away. She is quite happy for him to put her to bed and doesn't like it when he leaves her. She's had more trouble adjusting to seeing all our stuff packed away and having to sleep in lots of different places. But we're getting there.

So, here's to the start of another big adventure!!

Moving

We leave Sydney on Sunday and Australia on Boxing Day.

Everything in our house is going to one of the following:

a) air freight to the USA
b) travelling with us via Europe to the USA
c) going as unaccompanied baggage to the USA
d) going into storage
e) going to family/friends (eg. plants, food, car)
f) going to rubbish
g) going to Nowra for Christmas festivities (presents etc)

The trick is working out what is going where....

Doing him good - 4

"She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."(Proverbs 31:12)

4. Be trustworthy

One thing that really strikes me when I read Proverbs 31 is how responsible the 'Wife of Noble Character' is...

She is works with eager hands (v13)
She provides food for her family and servants (v15)
She is financially responsible (v16)
She trades and is profitable at it (v17)
She is generous and looks after those in need (v20)
She provides for her family's needs (v21-22)
She is busy, not idle (v27)

It all follows this summary in verse 11:

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value" (emphasis added).

I love that he trusts her with her tasks and she is responsible with these things. He doesn't worry about her - about what she is doing or how she is going. He doesn't worry about whether his children or his servants are being looked after. He doesn't need to worry about how she is using finances. He has full confidence in her.

I never really thought about this aspect of doing good to my husband. But with 3 long overseas deployments in the last 3 years, the importance of this has really struck home. PH has repeatedly said how much of a blessing it is to be able to trust me. To know that I am looking after our home, myself, and now, our daughter. To know that I am trusting God. To know that I am responsible with our finances. I'm by NO means saying I am perfect here - just that it has shown me just how much it means to a husband to know he can have confidence in his wife.

So for wives, I'd like to encourage you to not just think of the 'nice' little things you can do for your husband, but also to know that your ongoing care of your family, your wise use of finances, your way of maintaining the house, your good work at your job (whichever applies to your own situation -whether you be a full time worker or a stay at home mum, or a mix of both)...all these things are also doing good to your husband. Your responsibility is a blessing to him.

For single women, work at being responsible. Not just for a possible future husband, but because it is pleasing to God (see 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15).

For husbands, let your wives be responsible with finances, work, home duties etc. Don't be overbearing - give her the responsibility to do these things herself.
Tell her what it means to you to be able to trust her with these things. If you have confidence in her, tell her and thank God for her.

My husband

In celebration of PH turning 30 yesterday and coming home after 5 months away (for work) tomorrow, here are 30 things I love about him (cheesy but true).

1. He knows God as his Lord and Saviour

2. He is strong enough to stand up to me when I need it

3. He is a really good listener

4. He doesn't mind when I think differently to him and sees it as an opportunity to discuss our differences, rather than that something is wrong.

5. He is patient with me

6. He's a great cook

7. He is happy to clean, wash & iron and does so without needing to be told

8. He can laugh at himself & has taught me how to laugh at myself

9. He talks so loudly I can always tell where he is in a crowded room!

10. He loves making P giggle

11. Watching him look after and have fun with P is a joy

12. He loves learning new things

13. He takes an interest in other people and is good at asking questions to draw people into an interesting conversation.

14. He challenges me to grow - Spiritually and emotionally

15. Thinking about him makes me smile and my heart beat faster

16. He isn't afraid to say 'sorry'

17. He doesn't hold things against me (or others)

18. He seeks to make our marriage stronger

19. He seeks to grow Spiritually

20. He is generous (much more so than I am - he has taught me a lot)

21. He is has the best belly laugh when he finds something really funny

22. He cares for people who are in need

23. He writes lovely letters

24. He is forgiving (and has taught me the importance of forgiveness)

25. He is accepting of others, but not of manipulative behaviour

26. He is decisive

27. He likes to snuggle

28. He is proud and loyal - to his family and his country

29. He is active, and encourages me to get out and about more

30. He is honest

I love him. Happy birthday and welcome home PH. We missed you.

Another book

to add to my 'to read' list.

Over here is a review on a book on the topic of forgiveness. I've been wanting to read a sound theological book on forgiveness for a while, so should really try and get a hold of this...

Thanks to Craig for the link.

Domestic Violence

I've been doing some reading on the Christian response to domestic violence. Mostly because it is not an issue with which I am very familiar, and because I think its important to know how to support women in the church who experience violence in their marriage.

I've been reading "Divorce" by Frank Retief. He has written a chapter on 'Domestic Violence and the Christian'. Here are some snippets I found helpful in understanding this issue more:

"What must a victimised spouse do? There can be only one answer: she must leave. If the guilty partner's behaviour does not change and reconciliation is impossible, she must actively seek a divorce because the marriage has become a mockery. Life and limb are endangered, her dignity and self-worth are being destroyed and the vital element of respect has been lost. There is no longer any basis for the marriage because the covenant conditions have been broken and dishonoured" (p255)

In recognition of the terrible impact that abuse has on a woman's self image, he says this:

"I understand how hopeless and demotivated women can become in these circumstances. Sometimes it seems better to live in such a way that they negotiate minimum violence levels rather than face the seemingly impossible task of leaving and starting a new life for themselves. But I repeat, with understanding and compassion, that it is essential to leave." p260

He discusses the importance of support from outside sources - the involvement of the community in supporting a battered woman to leave. To provide shelter. To assist financially. To help them seek legal and police protection as needed.

I think this is where I need to pay heed. To be prepared to offer support and a safe environment to women in my Christian community to are dealing through these issues. To stand up and say that abuse is wrong. That submission does not mean accepting abuse. To remind them that God is merciful and knows their needs. To show them love. To pray with them that God's spirit will transform the heart of their husband and bring about true change.

For those interested in reading this chapter further, the reference is: Retief, F (1998) "Divorce" Christian Focus Publications.